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References:

Alexander, L. (2019, August 03). The Fruit of My Ministry. Retrieved January 03, 2021, from https://thetransformedwife.com/the-fruit-of-my-ministry/.

Wolfinger, N. H. (2016, June 6). Counterintuitive Trends in the Link Between Premarital Sex and Marital Stability. Retrieved August 23, 2020, from https://ifstudies.org/blog/counterintuitive-trends-in-the-link-between-premarital-sex-and-marital-stability.

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What Romance Novels Reveal about Women

November 29, 2020November 30, 2020 / My 2 Cents / Leave a comment

While there are countless romance novels that encompass characters of all ages from all parts of the world across various eras, examine the best sellers and you’re likely to encounter a story that follows the same basic outline:

Chapter 1 introduces the female lead, an early to mid-20’s woman who’s pursuing her dreams amid many difficulties. She’s driven, independent and not going to let anything, a man or otherwise, stand in the way of her showing the world who she is and what she can do.

Enter the male lead, an early to mid-30’s tall, dark, handsome and incredibly ripped billionaire. Never mind how he became a billionaire. He owns some business or something, but he doesn’t really have to put that much effort into it. He’s a true player and womanizer. He has all the time he needs for working out, partying, and sleeping with beautiful women, with the author’s assurance that he’ll remain a billionaire without having to put in any of the time and effort of real entrepreneurs.

Then the Hallmark moment. Our heroine meets the handsome hero through some unrealistic but incredibly entertaining encounter. Despite her reservations, the pair ends up having passionate, mind-blowing intimacy within 72 hours.

The female lead might experience some confusion or reservation after the fact, but for the male lead this is the key moment in the story. Sure, everyone knows he’s a player with plenty of beautiful women at his fingertips, but our heroine is different. With this girl, the intimacy was so passionate. So utterly amazing and pleasurable that he knows he’ll never be happy again without her in his life. Almost overnight, the once wild and free bad boy transforms into a dedicated and faithful provider, committed to doing whatever is necessary to keep the female lead in his life.

Finally, after some brief drama, the pair marries and lives happily ever after.

So, what’s wrong with it? Nothing technically. There’s nothing wrong with reading a work of fiction and enjoying it as a work of fiction. However, have you ever encountered a woman who has a history of dating jerks, yet can’t stop complaining about how badly she wants to find a good man, settle down, and get married. A quick search of everything from women’s blogs to reddit threads confirms there is no shortage of these women available. They say they want good men as opposed to jerks, but when a man they acknowledge to be a good comes by, they inevitably leave him to go be with a jerk again. What’s going on?

The truth is, these women aren’t actually being honest about what they want. It’s not that they want a bad boy or a good man. They’re looking to make their life into a romance novel. What they want is an exciting, hot, bad boy, who they then transform into a committed and faithful husband through the power of great intimacy and their own feminine charms. Every woman wants to be the woman who can successfully tie down the womanizer because she herself is just that good.

Do women ever succeed in this endeavor? Maybe sometimes, but much like the lottery, for every winner you find, you’ll find millions of people who lost. Yet for some reason those people keep blowing their money on lottery tickets when it could be put towards worthwhile investments.

Now don’t get me wrong. I don’t believe there’s anything wrong with reading and writing fiction and enjoying it. However, when you’re planning out a lifelong romantic strategy based on a formula that exists almost exclusively in fiction, you shouldn’t be surprised that it tends not to work out. If you think you’re going to transform a womanizer into quality husband through your own sheer awesomeness and great intimacy, well there’s a reason we go to physics textbooks and not sci-fi novels if we want information about the physical universe.

And that is My 2 Cents. Take it for what it’s worth.

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Dear Women, Men Don’t Owe You a Thing

September 27, 2020September 27, 2020 / My 2 Cents / 1 Comment

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is chain-man-1.jpg — Women forget that men don’t owe them respect anymore than they owe men sex.

A quick survey of the internet will reveal that women everywhere are fed up with male dating entitlement. This isn’t unique to any one age group, social group, or physical location. From New York to Los Angeles and beyond, women are sharing their horror stories about men.

The up and coming professional woman relays how her co-worker thought that picking up the bar tab would entitle him to spicy action in bed later that night. Outrageous. The young college freshman whines about how that geeky guy from third period actually had the audacity to think that helping her with her homework meant he was entitled to dating her. Disgusting. The specifics of each situation vary, but the message is the same.

Men are not owed anything by women.

You can’t force someone to be attracted to you.

No matter how many nice things you do for her, she owes you nothing in return.

They’re Right, Women Don’t Owe Men

I’m happy to say that I 100% agree with the girls on this. Women are individuals with their own wants and needs. You are owed nothing simply because you want it, and there are indeed men who act like they’re being cheated when the females in their lives don’t respond favorably to their advances.

To all the men who may be reading this. No matter who you are. No matter who she is. She does not owe you sex, a date, or anything else, regardless of what you might have done for her.

However, there’s something else that’s equally true, and it’s something that far fewer mainstream writers and creators are discussing, and that’s this.

Men don’t owe women anything either.

Why is No One Talking about This?

The funny thing about all the bloggers and publications pushing this message condemning male dating entitlement, is that they’re also the same ones asking, where have all the good men gone? Why do successful women have such trouble finding dateable men? Why can I never seem to get a man to commit to me?

Asking the questions themselves may be worthwhile, but the very same women who condemn male dating entitlement are also concluding that it’s men who are responsible for the lack of relationship satisfaction so pertinent among females.

Take a look at the average dating profile of a woman these days and it quickly becomes clear that there a few things that just about every woman would like to see in the men they date. “Prefer men who are six feet tall or taller.” “Prefer six figure income or higher.” “Prefer muscular build to someone who’s skinny.” The list could go on.

None of this is wrong of course, women are free to pursue whatever type of man they wish for whatever reason they wish. However, it should go without saying that if women choose only to pursue a small minority of men that meet their listed preferences, they have a much lower chance of securing commitment from such a man, and this isn’t the fault of those men.

And Yet Women Complain

Have you ever heard a woman complain about how men are eternal man-children who only want casual relationships and refuse to commit?

Newsflash ladies, men don’t owe you commitment.

How about men refuse to show women respect or treat them well?

Sorry, but men don’t owe you respect either.

The thing is, while it’s true that women don’t owe men anything, the sword cuts both ways. If a woman wants to complain about male dating entitlement, then she has no grounds on which to complain when the men she wants to date aren’t interested in her.

When it comes to relationships, what every person, man or woman, needs to realize is that you are the one deciding what relationships you’re going to pursue, and the other party is not obligated to give you what you’re looking for. If your terms for a relationship aren’t mutually beneficial for your desired partner, you shouldn’t be surprised when they aren’t interested.

Want to be in a relationship, but can’t seem to find one to your liking? I guarantee that if you lower your standards enough, you’ll be in a relationship in no time.

“But I don’t just want any man. I want a good man, who commits to me and respects me!”

Good for you sweetheart, and I want a harem of beautiful women who don’t mind sharing me. Doesn’t mean I’m entitled to it.

Lower your standards enough, and you will be able to secure a relationship, but always remember, men don’t owe you anything, anymore than you owe sex to a man you’re not attracted to.

And that is my 2 cents. Take it for what it’s worth.

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Why Traditional Gender Roles Matter in Marriage

August 12, 2019November 5, 2019 / My 2 Cents / Leave a comment

Many people today believe that gender roles are fluid, and that traditional gender roles are simply outdated stereotypes designed to oppress women. However, research and common sense strongly suggest that traditional gender roles are fundamental marriage and the family, benefiting all parties when they are embraced. This is the second video in my series Defending Traditional Marriage.

Hashtags: #GenderRoles #marriage #family #traditional

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Citations:

Ingalhalikar, M., Smith, A., Parker, D., Satterthwaite, T. D., Elliott, M. A., Ruparel, K., Hakonarson, H., Gur, R. E., Gur, R. C. & Verma, R. (2014, January). Sex differences in the structure of the connectome of the human brain. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 111(2), 823-828. doi: 10.1073/pnas.1316909110

Carlson, A. (2003, January 5). What Has Government Done to Our Families? Retrieved from https://mises.org/library/what-has-government-done-our-families

Kornrich, S., Brines, J., & Leupp, K. (2012). Egalitarianism, Housework, and Sexual Frequency in Marriage. American Sociological Review, 78(1), 26–50. doi: 10.1177/0003122412472340

Wilcox, W. B., & Knox, S. L. (2006). What’s Love Got to Do with It? Equality, Commitment and Women’s Marital Quality? Social Forces, 84, 1321–45.

Krisch, J. A. (2018, May 21). Why Does Breaking Gender Norms Make Us Unhappy? Retrieved from https://www.fatherly.com/health-science/stay-at-home-dad-depression/

Petherick, A. (2016, May 18). Gains in women’s rights haven’t made women happier. Why is that? Retrieved from https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/may/18/womens-rights-happiness-wellbeing-gender-gap

Schwartz, C. A. (2019, June 24). Divorce more likely if traditional gender roles change. Retrieved from https://www.cschwartzlaw.com/blog/2019/06/divorce-more-likely-if-traditional-gender-roles-change.shtml

Fagan, P., Rector, R., Johnson, K., & Peterson, A. (2002, April 1). The Positive Effects of Marriage: A Book of Charts. Retrieved from https://www.heritage.org/marriage-and-family/report/the-positive-effects-marriage-book-charts

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Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for -fair use- for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use.

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Ariana Grande’s Feminist Fail

October 11, 2018October 12, 2018 / My 2 Cents / 2 Comments

Ariana Grande is famous for her radio hits about getting pounded so hard that she’s walking side to side, yet she objects when fans sexually objectify her. Now she’s released a song titled, “God is a Woman,” in an effort to broadcast her absurd feminist views. Myself and my elite level patron Nightshift10000, respond to her interview on the Zach Sang show regarding the song.

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Copyright Disclaimer Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, allowance is made for -fair use- for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. Non-profit, educational or personal use tips the balance in favor of fair use.

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A Discussion with Allie David about Lori Alexander’s “Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos”

August 22, 2018August 22, 2018 / My 2 Cents / Leave a comment

I’ll be having a discussion with Allie Davis about Lori Alexander’s article, “Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos,” and my recent video response to Katie Emmerson. Allie runs a channel for Christian women, and is thankfully willing to have a rational discussion about this unlike others.

Allie’s Channel:
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Lori Alexander’s “Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos:
https://thetransformedwife.com/men-prefer-debt-free-virgins-without-tattoos/

My Video Response to Katie Emmerson:

Katie Emmerson DEBUNKED: Men DO Prefer Debt-Free Virgins

August 16, 2018August 16, 2018 / My 2 Cents / Leave a comment

Katie Emmerson has reviewed a recent article titled, “Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos” by Lori Alexander. Katie thinks the article is “Horrifying!” but the reality is that the article is spot on regarding the fact that men do not wish to marry women who have made irresponsible decisions in their past.

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